Zuraidi Zainol » Jokes

Sabun di bilik mandi

Zuraidi Zainol — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 04:16:23 +0000

Jokes: How To Become A Dad

Zuraidi Zainol — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 13:55:48 +0000

I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter.

She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.

‘Why?’ my daughter asked. ‘Because it’s been on the ground, you don’t know where it’s been, it’s dirty, and probably has germs’ I replied.

At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, ‘Momma, how do you know all this stuff, you are so smart.’

I was thinking quickly. ‘All moms know this stuff. It’s on the Mom Test. You have to know it, or they don’t let you be a Mom.’ We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.

‘OH…I get it!’ she beamed, ‘So if you don’t pass the test you have to be the dad. ‘

‘Exactly’ I replied back with a big smile on my face.

Jokes: Tourist & Indian tourist guide

Zuraidi Zainol — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 11:55:42 +0000

A foreign tourist hired a guide to take him around Delhi and Agra. At the
Red Fort at Delhi, he admired the architecture and asked how many years it

took to build.
“Twenty years,” replied the guide.
‘You Indians are a lazy lot,” the tourist said. “In my country, this could have
been built in five.’
At Agra he admired the Taj’s beauty and asked how many years it took to
build.
‘Only ten years,’ said the guide.
The tourist retorted: ‘You Indians are slow! We can construct such buildings
in two-and-a-half.’
In this fashion the tourist claimed that every building he admired could have
been built in his country in quarter the time.

Finally, when they reached the
Qutab Minar, and the tourist asked what it was, the guide replied: ‘I don’t
know. It wasn’t there yesterday evening.”

* Source: Readers’ Digest Best Jokes

Jokes: Dialog between Maid & Visitor

Zuraidi Zainol — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 15:56:10 +0000

Maid: What do you want, sir?
Visitor: I want to see your master.
Maid: What’s your business, please?
Visitor: There is a bill…
Maid: Ah! He left yesterday for his village…
Visitor: Which I have to pay him…
Maid: And he returned this morning.

*Source: Reader’s Digest Best Jokes

Jokes: How to call the police when you’re OLD and not moving fast anymore

Zuraidi Zainol — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 16:00:14 +0000

George Phillips , an elderly man, from Meridian, Mississippi, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.

He phoned the police, who asked “Is someone in your house?”
He said “No,” but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me.

Then the police dispatcher said “All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available.”

George said, “Okay.”

He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again.

“Hello,I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don’t have to worry about them now because I just shot and killed them both, the dogs are eating them right now.” and he hung up.

Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips’ residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the Policemen said to George , “I thought you said that you’d shot them!”
George said, “I thought you said there was nobody available!”

Don’t mess with old people.

Live well, laugh often, love much!!!

* Source: forwarded email.